Life or Death
by thosewinchesterboys
Summary: Casey is a fifteen year old girl recovering from a serious case a leukemia. When the Winchesters stumble across her path, she needs to make a very important decision that will change her whole life. Rated K for some language and self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

I had always been a perfectly normal girl. Straight, brown hair and glasses. I was smart, I had friends, I had a boyfriend. I got good grades. My life was great. Until the cancer hit. I had leukemia, a blood cancer, and I was told that I had another month to live. This was one of the hardest times for my family. They were scared, and I wasn't. I wasn't afraid of dying. It was a part of life. Someone was crying every day and it always seemed like I was the one telling them it was ok. It was a really depressing time for me because I thought they were the ones who should have been strong and they should have been telling me it was ok. But as I was on my death bed, the meds took control and I was better. Of course it took me time, but I healed. Now, a whole year later, I'm a normal girl again that gets chemotherapy once every six months. It's hard because no one treated me the same. I got sympathetic looks as I walked through the hallways, people offering me chairs to sit in and helping me carry my books. I was the sick girl, the cancer girl, despite how healthy I felt. And I really hated it. I hated everything about my life, and I would have done anything for a new one. So when the opportunity came, I took it.

Weird things were happening in my small town in Ohio. There had been three deaths in one week, and one of them was one of my teachers I was relatively close to. Apparently their hearts had been ripped out. I wondered how the hell someone got their heart ripped out, but I left that mystery to the police on the case. I had spent the day crying in my room and tissues were scattered all over the floor. My parents had gone out a while ago, they knew I needed some alone time. All of a sudden, the doorbell rang throughout the silent house and I froze. My face was red and tear stained and my eyes were puffy. The doorbell rang again. Panicking, I threw some concealer on my face and dashed downstairs and peered out the window to see two utterly attractive men. One had short, spiked up golden hair and green eyes and freckles sprinkled across his face. The other was enormously tall, with shaggy brown hair and hazel eyes. The tall one saw me and held up an FBI badge. Oh god what did I do, I was a suspect wasn't I. Shaking, I opened the door.

~Dean~

When a tear stained, short haired girl answered the door, I was a little taken aback. I was expecting an adult, even though we had come for her.

"Casey Matthews?" I asked.

"I didn't do anything I swear!" she blurted. Sam, my brother, grinned at her.

"It's ok. We know you didn't, we just want to talk to you about Mrs. Karr."

"Oh. Oh right. Um, come in I guess. I'm home alone so I really hope you aren't like serial killers or anything so uh yeah come in please yes," she rambled on, stepping back to let us in. I chuckled to myself and stepped inside the house. Pictures of Casey and her parents were up on the wall, they were all happy smiling pictures of a perfect poster family.

"Sit, sit," she said shakily, sinking into an armchair. Sam and I sat down on the leather couch. "I'm-I'm Casey-well wait you already know that sorry uhm-"

"Calm down," Sam said gently. "Just because were FBI doesn't mean were mean."

"Attractive FBI," I heard her mutter. I raised an eyebrow and she blushed bright red as Sam pretended he didn't hear.

"Well, I'm Agent Stark and this is Agent Banner, we'd like to ask you a few questions about Mrs. Karr. From what we hear, you were rather close with her?" I asked. She nodded.

"I was. It was a shock when I learned that she died."

"Do you happen to know where she was last night?" I asked. She raised an eyebrow.

"Um...no I don't. We don't really talk about our plans."

"Do you know anyone that would want to hurt her? Or if they had some sort of…vengeance for her?"

"I'm sorry are these questions relevant?" I gave Sam a sideways glance.

"We just have to explore every possible scenario," Sam said.

"Well no. She was an old lady. Everyone loved her but we were just particularly close." Casey gave us a weird look. "Are you really FBI?" Crap. Busted. I clenched my hands into fists.

"Of course we are. Never question authority," I added at the end for good measure. She shook her head.

"Agent Stark and Agent Banner? What, you think I've never seen the Avengers?"

"Uh...um lucky coincidence," Sam said. Casey stood up.

"Right well if you would like to get the hell out of my house now, that would be great," she said sweetly, but with a look that could kill a tiger.

"Look Casey-"

"I'm sorry 'Agent Stark' I don't have time for your bullshit. And next time, do a better job with your fake IDs. I don't know who you are or why you care about what happened to Mrs. Karr, but I'm sure you weren't as close to her as I was. Now get out of my house before I call the police." I looked at Sam and we both knew she was tough. She could handle the truth about us. But the question was how would she take it. Most teenage girls don't really react well when they're told that their favorite teacher was killed by a monster.

"Sam?" He raised his eyebrows, asking me without saying anything if we could really trust Casey, but we both knew that answer was a yes. Right from the start I had sensed something different about her.

"Dean. Go ahead."

"What the hell is going on?" she practically screamed. "If you're trying to tell me something, please say it or LEAVE!"

"Fine. You caught us. We aren't FBI. Casey, your teacher was killed by a werewolf."

At first I froze, then I realized what he said and I burst out laughing.

"You really think you can lure me into letting you stay by telling me my teacher got killed by a werewolf?! I don't think so. Get out."

"Casey. I'm being serious. Look, I'm Sam, that's my brother, Dean," the taller one said. "And we aren't normal people. We hunt monsters and demons." I picked up the phone, but right before my finger pressed 9, another man appeared and I dropped the phone. He literally appeared out of nowhere.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said to me. The man was wearing a dirty trench coat over a suit with messed up black hair and piercing blue eyes.

"This is Castiel," Dean said. "He's an angel." I felt myself get lightheaded.

"I'm sorry?"

"An angel. You know from Heaven."

"This man. In a dirty trench coat. Is an angel?!" He looked slightly offended. I grabbed my hair. "Shit. Shit I'm going crazy. It's official. I'm officially insane and I'm hallucinating oh god."

"Casey. Casey listen to me," Dean said. Oh god my mind was bringing up insanely hot men. Hallucinating was not an effect of chemo. "Casey you are NOT going crazy. Sit down and breathe." I fell into my arm chair and looked at Sam and Dean, who sat on the couch. "Listen to us. Demons and angels and monsters are all real. There's a Heaven and a Hell. And we know for a fact that it's a werewolf that killed your teacher and we need to find it. You know it's real because you just saw Cas. You know humans can't just zap in and out of places." I shook my head.

"Nope. I absolutely refuse to believe you. There is no such thing as monsters. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go search some nearby mental institutions so I can put you guys in one. You seriously think I would believe that story?!" I laughed. "So stop with all of the bullshit and get out of my house."

"Casey. Listen to me right now," Dean said forcefully. "There are real creatures out there that will come and kill you."

"It's true," Cas spoke up. "I really am an angel. Heaven and Hell are real, and there are plenty more angels where I come from. You need to believe them, because if you don't, then you have a much higher chance of being killed." Dean shot him a look.

"C'mon Cas. Really? You can't just come out and say that." Cas squinted his eyes at Dean.

"Um, hello! Still here!" I said.

"Please, Casey. Believe us. We're the only hope you have now." I couldn't believe I was saying this.

"Fine. Fine I believe you for now. But if I learn that you're lying…let's just say you are in deep doodoo."

They all looked relieved.

"So…what other kinds of monsters are there? Assuming there are actually monsters." Dean ignored the last part.

"Plenty. There's shapeshifters, vampires, witches, ghosts…I could go on for days." I felt like I would throw up. They weren't lying. I felt goosebumps rise on my whole body. "Casey?"

"Oh...my god."

"Are you alright?" I choked back a gag. There was a moment of silence before Dean spoke. "Now that you know, you're more vulnerable." I looked outside. The sky had begun to get dark. My parents should have been home by now.

"Then I'd like to help."

"Excuse me?" Sam asked.

"I want to help you hunt these things or whatever. Someone has to do it and there can't be that many of you guys out there. I'm strong and I can fight. So I'd like to help." Plus it gave me a chance to be with very hot men, but I didn't say that out loud.

"Whoa whoa whoa, absolutely not," Dean said. I thought about the past events of my life, the way people looked at me. When I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. I only had one true friend.

"No. I want to help you find this thing."

"Casey-" Sam's phone started ringing. "Agent Banner," he said officially. His eyes widened and then said, "Ok. We'll be right there. Thank you." Sam hung up and looked at Dean. "Two more deaths downtown. Let's go." A dark dread filled me but I pushed it away. That wasn't possible.

"I'm coming," I said, standing up. Dean looked me up and down. "Right. Let me change."

"Casey-"

"I'm coming!" I yelled, already halfway up the stairs. I changed in under five minutes, putting on jeans and a sweatshirt and did my makeup in 30 seconds, which was only mascara and a thin line of eyeliner. I then sprinted back down. "Let's go," I said breathlessly.

"You're out of breath?" Dean asked, as I grabbed my keys and locked the door behind me. They had no idea I was a cancer kid, and they wouldn't find out.

"I haven't exercised in a while," I lied. I was good at lying. He snickered and I jumped in their back seat. "So how long have you been hunting...these monsters?" I asked shakily.

"Whole life," Dean said.

"We have a good ten minute drive," I said. "Explain everything."

~Dean~

The kid wanted to know our life story. That would scare her, and I didn't want to scar her for life. I don't even think she noticed Cas had disappeared, and she was already vulnerable as it was. But for a fifteen year old girl, she was strong. And she would make good hunter material, but no girl should live that life.

"I don't know..." I trailed off. Something told me to go the other way about this whole thing. I didn't want to drag her into anything that would get her hurt.

"Please. I want to know." Sam looked at me.

"She needs to know."

"Alright um…I'll try to give you the shortened version. Basically Sam died, I sold my soul to bring him back alive then I went to Hell but Cas pulled me out then Sam let Lucifer-"

"Lucifer as in the Devil?" she interrupted.

"Yep. Sam let the Devil outta the cage, so Sam basically let Lucifer use him as a vessel then Sam jumped in the cage, he came out with no soul, we had to get his soul back, then Cas and the king of Hell, Crowley, opened the gates of Purgatory letting all these leviathans out which we shoved back in following the Leviathan tablet and now were trying to figure out his Demon tablet to shut the gates of Hell forever," I finished. I heard silence.

"You still back there?" Sam asked. I looked at her face. She was white as a ghost and her mouth was slightly open.

"You're a little pale." She shrugged.

"No no I'm totally fine." I chuckled. It was a lot to take in for a girl like that. I was just worried that now that she knew, demons and angels would want her. I didn't want to take her on a hunt in the slightest.

"Well prepare yourself even more. You wanna be a hunter, you need to get a good look at these bodies," Sam said. Was he willing to take her in? To let her live the crappiest life out there?

"Are you saying I can become a hunter?" she asked anxiously, her hands gripping the seat. Oh god. Why did she want this so badly? To have this life was like Hell and I didn't wish it upon anyone.

"Casey, listen. The life of a hunter is not something you want," Sam said. I breathed a sigh of relief. Sam would convince her to stay, maybe Cas could wipe her memory. Then everything would be normal again. I felt myself relax in relief, knowing this would work and she would forget about all of this horrible stuff. "You lose all communications with your friends and more importantly, your family. You may never see them. Every hunt you go out on, every monster you chase, you may die." Her face didn't even fall when Sam said that. "Do you really want that? To lose your family to a life where you could die and they may not even know?"

Oh yes I wanted every bit of that life. Sam didn't know how sick I was of my family aiding me to my every need. They didn't even care if I was healthy, it was like I wasn't even allowed to do anything myself. 'Mom I'm making a sandwich.' 'Oh no no no! You stay there I'll do it for you!' 'Mom I'm going for a bike ride.' 'Oh I'll go with you then.' Some people would say that's a good life, having your family cater to your every need, but it was a pain in the ass. I had no friends anymore to leave behind. I had already almost died, and now I was stronger. I could hunt.

"I hate my life!" I finally burst. "I hate it, I hate everything about it and I want this more than anything. I want to be a person that helps save other people from these creatures that actually exist and boy, you don't know how badly I wanna do that," I gushed. Sam and Dean looked at each other.

"I know you're saying you want to get away from everyone, but once you're gone you'll miss it more than anything. It's dangerous," Dean said.

"I won't miss it. And I like danger," I stated stubbornly.

"Fine, fine we'll think about," Sam said, but only to shut me up. I bit back a smile anyways. Hunting with two insanely hot guys was a good thing.

"Look, when we get there just don't touch anything. Some of these people are a little strict. Maybe you can look at the bodies, I don't know. Please be careful and don't goof off," Dean instructed.

I looked at him with wide eyes. "Goof off? Seriously, I'm fifteen and I'm not stupid."

"I know I just…this doesn't feel right."

I looked out into the dark night sky as Dean pulled the car over into an empty spot. They simultaneously jumped out and I followed lead. We were on a street that wasn't very busy or popular, and one large section was roped off filled with policemen and what not. I quickened my pace to keep up with Sam and Dean. "Agent Stark and Banner. She's with us," Dean said, gesturing to me.

"Um, I'm sorr-"

"She's. With us," Sam repeated in a hard voice. The policeman lifted up the crime scene tape and I ducked under. I felt so official, that was until I saw the bodies. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. The people moving around me, Sam and Dean talking, my steps towards the bodies. When I got there, it was all I could do to not pass out. The dread I had unwillingly pushed out of my body had returned with such a full force I wanted to puke. Those bodies were my parents.


	2. Chapter 2

~Dean~

I had lost sight of Casey, completely enveloped in getting information on the two people, until I heard a scream of despair. Casey was kneeled by the bodies of the two people, a man and a woman.

"Dean-Dean no," Sam said beside me with a voice full of dread. This couldn't be happening. No, of course it was. Every time we tried to help someone out or we told someone our secret, another person they were close to died.

"They were her parents," I whispered. I dropped my notebook I was carrying and ran over to her. "Casey. Casey quiet down," I said softly.

"No!" she screamed, pushing me off. "No! No it took my parents! The son of a bitch took my parents!" She broke down into full out sobs, and I didn't know what to do so I just collected her in my arms. She was only 15. An innocent girl didn't deserve this, and now she would be broken forever. We had caused the breaking of a young girl.

"Casey," I murmured. Why was I being so nice? I had never had a particular soft spot for teenage girls, in fact, they were rather annoying. But something about Casey was different, and I felt like I had to protect her like she was my little sister, even though we just met. There was just something about her that was so…innocent and unbroken. And now I had to get her through this awful death of her parents somehow, with help from Sam.

"Dean," she cried. Everyone at the scene was looking at us as she cried into my arms. If it wasn't her parents, I doubt she would be crying on me, but her family had just died, so I allowed it.

"Let's go," I muttered to Sam, and helped her up. She could barely stumble along, falling into the backseat of the Impala. Her family was dead. That was the last step it took to become an official hunter. Because everyone you love dies.

The night was a blur. And the only thing I remembered was passing out on the couch when I got home. The next morning, my mind had to process what happened, and five minutes later, I was on the couch in tears again. The only thing I could really remember were my parents bodies lying on the ground, their chests torn apart. That image would be something seared in my brain forever. It was a scarring, awful sight that made me sob so hard I could barely breathe. The front door opened and Sam and Dean walked in, a box of donuts in Deans' hands. He dropped the donuts when he saw me and ran over.

"Hey hey, don't cry Case." Dean and I had already become closer than expected, and it hadn't even been twenty four hours. There was something in him that told me I needed to trust him with my life. Maybe it was the way he fit his arms perfectly around my body when I cried, or how he comforted me, but I knew that we had a bond. And Sam was the same, but Dean just...clicked more. He reminded me of someone, but I just couldn't remember who. Someone I had loved. Fears filled my mind, telling me that if I got close to them, they would die too.

"They're gone," I stuttered. Dean looked me right in the eyes.

"Casey. We need to get out of here. We killed the werewolf last night but you're vulnerable and it's not safe for any of us." I sniffed and wiped the tears off.

"Right I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I am, I'll go pack." He tried to stop me, but I ran upstairs. The lump in my throat refused to go away. My parents were dead. But it's a part of life, death is natural, some people just died sooner then others. It isn't possible to live forever. And I needed to stop crying because that would only make matters worse. I threw all necessities into a small duffel bag while pondering what to do. Would I really be hunting with them, or would they just leave me in a safe place when they went out? I mean, they would have to teach me about all these monsters and demons so I would know what to do if one came after me or something. I shook my head as reality sunk in again. I needed to stop thinking about them but it was so hard. Now what would I do? It was five months until my next chemo treatment, which Sam and Dean didn't know about and I didn't want them to find out. Then I would be treated as the cancer girl again and that's the only reason I wanted this life. I looked in the mirror at my skinny face and shoulder length hair. I wasn't the person I used to be. I had no family, but I had Sam and Dean. And I needed to make the best of them.

~one week later~

One whole week it had been with Casey. We showed her the bunker, which I could tell fascinated her and she got her own room and everything. But her eyes were so sad. Everything about her just looked sad, and I felt horrible. We hadn't hunted anything in a week nor had we taught Casey anything about hunting. Something needed to be done about that. I was getting bored as anything while me and Sammy mostly sat around while Casey stayed locked up in the room we gave her. There was so much to do in the bunker, so much to explore, but we just didn't feel like it. Having a teenage girl locked up in her room in our bunker…well it didn't seem right to really do anything. I shook my head as Sam walked down around 8 am.

"Dude. We need to do something about her," he said.

"I know. I feel like she's our little sister now and we like, have to protect her."

"I felt that way since the start. And if all she does is lock herself up there she'll never learn to hunt and she'll never get over the fact that her parents died." Sam gave me a look.

"Man, her parents did die and she's only fifteen. Plus she-" He stopped in the middle of his sentence. "She what?" "She's so young," he concluded. It didn't sound completely honest, but I didn't want to push it. "I want to go talk to her but I think she would do better with you. You have a more comforting approach," I said, leaning back in my chair and taking a sip of coffee. There was silence and I looked at Sam's face. "What?! I'm serious!" He rolled his eyes. "Fine." I hoped this would work.

I hadn't really been crying in my new room, more like silently moping around and not wanting to face Sam or Dean, although I missed their pretty faces. The bunker was a strange place. Buttons all over, the medieval like rooms and book shelves. I liked it a lot. A knock on my door didn't phase me. I was just staring up at the ceiling. "Come in," I called, my voice crackly. Sam pushed the door open and came over to gently sit on my bed. "Hi," I said softly, sitting up.

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh, ya know," I said with a sad smile. He put his arm around my shoulders and chills ran up and down my whole body.

"I know about you," he blurted. My stomach clenched.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cancer. I know."

"Please don't tell Dean," I whispered, knowing if I talked any louder I'd start crying.

"Why didn't you say anything, Case?" I shook my head, trying not to talk.

"Why do you-" I couldn't even talk. "Why do you think I left my old life?" I choked out. Sam hugged me.

"I'm so sorry."

"No see, thats what I used to get! I'm so sorry, Casey. Let me get you something, have a seat. Sympathetic looks here and there, getting out of missed homework assignments. That's good, right? Well not for me. I want to be a normal kid, and get yelled at for forgetting homework or-or messing up on something. I hated it. And that's why I want it to be over, but I never wanted it to go as far as my parents dying." Sam was silent as a tear slid down my cheek.

"I get it. I really do. But do you really think hunting is the smartest thing? I mean Casey, if you get hurt, you'll be hurting all of us. We can't have that happen because we care about you." I felt myself blush bright red. "And if something happens to you..."

"Sam, I swear to you I'm fine. Really I am. Just please, please don't tell Dean."

"I won't. I promise." He got up, but I jumped up with him and wrapped my arms around his waist. If I didn't have parents, then I had older brothers. I was determined to become as close to them as I possibly could.

"I really don't know how I can ever thank you for this," I said, my voice muffled.

"You don't need to," he said softly. I pulled away and watched him walk out. My mind was scrambled with emotions I was experiencing. Most of my brain had taken over the emotion of being depressed, while the other half felt slightly excited. My eyes swept the room and I froze when they passed over a safety pin. A thought came into my mind, and once it was in, I couldn't push it out. In a trance like state, I picked up the safety pin and undid it. This wasn't like me at all. I shouldn't have been doing this, but before I could stop myself, the pin hit my arm.

~Dean~

After an hour, she finally came downstairs. "Look who it is!" I said, hoping I could lighten the mood just a little bit. A small smile crossed her face, but it was barely noticeable. But I saw it.

"Hi," she said so softly I could barely hear.

"Take a seat," Sam said, pulling out a chair for her. I noticed anger flash in her eyes and Sam's apologetic look. What was going on that I didn't know about? Nevertheless, she sat down very properly, with her hands folded on the table like she didn't want to break anything. The most awkward silence occurred for almost a full minute. Our shifting eyes occasionally passed over one another, looking around the room.

"I'm sorry this is the worst silence ever can we at least talk about something?" I finally burst. I was never good at being quiet for long. Casey looked a little amused. I was doing well. It wasn't very hard for me to play a role like this because I practically raised Sammy when we were kids. But it was also a little different because she was a girl. What did girls like, what did they do? Nails, makeup? I didn't know.

"So I'd like to learn to hunt," Casey said all of a sudden. I nodded, I had seen this coming. It was inevitable, yet I was still a bit nervous.

"Right." I looked over at Sam and he shrugged. "Where to start…," I silently muttered to myself. "Ok." I clapped my hands together. "Do you know how to use a gun?" She looked at me with wide eyes.

"What makes you think I would know that?!"

"Whoa whoa, calm down. I know you don't know how to, I was just making sure. That's why we need to learn if you want to hunt."

Five minutes later, all three of us were down in the shooting range. I had no idea where Kevin was. He had briefly met Casey before she locked herself up in her room.

"I can't do this," she said, holding a small gun in her shaking hand.

"Yes you can," I said convincingly. I raised her arm up with mine and noticed the goosebumps. I had to hold back a grin as I steadied her arm. "Now put your other hand on the gun," I instructed. She did as I told, and all of a sudden three gun shots rang throughout the range. I looked at the target first, noticing two bullets had made it relatively close to the target but one had hit the arm of the body. Casey's face looked shocked.

"That hurt," she said quietly. I laughed.

"Yeah, watch the kick with that one. You need a firm grip. Ok, remember how to reload?" She nodded. "Great, I want you to try that for me." I watched her closely as she reloaded the gun and held it up, this time with a steadier aim. One bullet hit the target, and the two others were closer then before.

"Great!" Sam said with a smile, clapping a hand down on her shoulder. A real smile crossed her face for the first time I had ever seen her. Progress was being made. For the next hour or so, I let Casey use a few different guns, and then we got to knife throwing, which I sort of wanted to try just for fun since we had nothing else to do. I had looked away for one second, but when I heard a thud, I looked up and saw the knife had hit the fake person with deadly accuracy. I looked at Sam.

"Come on man, we don't need to be showing off," I complained. He had a huge grin across his face.

"Um, that wasn't me, Dean." I glanced down at Casey and saw a wide smile across her whole face, which made me grin.

"Pure luck," I said. "I can't even throw that well." Sam handed her another knife and she moved over to the next target. After two seconds, the knife was a blur whizzing through the air, and then it had hit the target with a loud thud. "Holy crap! What the hell are you hiding from us?!" I exclaimed. She shook her head, another little grin on her face.

"I don't know. Ive always had pretty good hand-eye coordination. I guess knife throwing is a talent?"

"I don't know if you can say that to people when they ask what you're talented at," Sam said with a chuckle. I heard her laugh and relief spread through me like never before. It might have been slowly, but she was getting over things. And I would do anything I could to help her.

I was standing in the training room, not really believing what I had just done. I shot a gun, and I was strangely good at knife throwing, which was odd. I had finally started to loosen up a bit around Sam and Dean. Sam knew how to take my mind off of things, and Dean was good at making me laugh. Sure, it was a little obvious that they were just trying to make me feel better about what was going on and trying to get me accustomed to my surroundings, but I really liked it. It made me feel good. Well, at least better. I had another knife in my hand. Sam and Dean had gone back upstairs to find a shotgun for me. I had done a good job of cleaning up the cuts on my arm I had made with the safety pin. It wasn't even big enough to draw blood, but there were scratches on my arm. I raised the knife at a good level, steadied my aim, and threw it across the room, hitting a dummy right in the stomach. Dean and Sam came walking down the stairs again, Kevin in the lead. Kevin was a prophet of the Lord, who was really hot. I had sort of ran off the first time I was introduced to him, but I really liked him. I mean, he was only three years older then me…

"Hey," he said with a smile. I could feel my face blush bright red in his presence.

"Hi," I squeaked out. Kevin looked across the room at the knives thrown at the targets.

"Holy shit, did you throw those?" he exclaimed.

"Heck yeah she did!" Dean answered for me, clapping a hand on my shoulder. I felt myself buckle a little, which was weird because he had put barely any weight on my arm.

"Damn…better aim than Sam and Dean," Kevin said with a wink. I gave this awkward laugh and a grin, which I did when I had no idea what to say.

"So who wants lunch?" Sam asked, breaking the awkward silence. "I'm pretty sure we have frozen chicken nuggets which Dean insisted on buying, also some mac and cheese and peanut butter and jelly." I wasn't that hungry for some reason, I had barely eaten anything the past few days, but mac and cheese sounded pretty good. "Casey?" I looked up at him.

"Oh, er, I don't really care I could eat mac and cheese I guess," I got out.

"Fantastic. Let's go." We all walked up the stairs, Dean shutting the lights off after me. I still hadn't gotten a full look around the bunker, and judging by the looks of it, Sam and Dean hadn't either. There were parts of it that were just dark and undiscovered, and there were so many doors leading to who knows where. I followed Dean into the kitchen, looking at my surroundings. The whole place was literally filled with book shelves, and some of the stuff wasn't even books, they looked like scrolls. I stopped and picked up a book, but it was all in another language that looked like Latin, but I wasn't positive. Flipping through it, it looked like there were pictures of demons and exorcisms.

"This stuff dates way back," I murmured to myself.

"Yeah, we have some pretty old books," Dean said, startling me as he silently walked in. "How are you feeling?" he asked me quietly in that non-cancer way. It was the way of asking if I was still sane, if I wasn't emotionally ruined and depressed. Well, I was.

"Fine," I said, with a shake of my head. "You guys have succeeded in the task of making it feel better," I said, in a sort of joking manner. He smiled, but it was a sad smile.

"I want you to understand that I need to protect you."

"Dean, I've already gotten the talk, I don't need it again," I joked. He laughed, and it was a genuine laugh.

"Shut up. But really, if I could choose, hunting is not the life I'd want you to have. But it's your decision and I respect that. I just want you to know that I will take a bullet for you. I want you to be as safe as possible. Please try not to get hurt." I could literally feel the blush rise in my cheeks, but not out of embarrassment. It was the fact that even if I didn't have my parents, I had someone who wanted me to be safe and look out for me. I realized that all those times my parents annoyed me, it was only because they wanted to keep me safe. I knew if I had a kid, I would be doing the same thing, sick or not. And now that my family was gone, I had Sam and Dean to fulfill that job.

"Dean, I can't thank you enough. But don't take that bullet for me, don't you dare. Because the one lesson I've learned in my life is that everyone, young or old, dies, for one reason or another. And if I get shot, or eaten by a monster or whatever, so be it. Because I'll die knowing I've lived my life to the fullest." After a long moment of silence that hung in the air, he gave a low whistle.

"I feel like I'm in church or something. That was deep."

"Way to ruin the moment," I laughed, throwing a punch at his arm to show I was okay. I could see the relief in his eyes. He could tell I was beginning to loosen up and start acting like myself, but he didn't know about those two secrets that I hid.


	3. Chapter 3

~Dean~

I really hadn't expected Casey to come off so strong, and I liked that about her. I was extremely glad to have her begin to loosen up a bit, but I felt like there was something she was hiding. I mean sure, we all hide things. Me and Sam, we have hidden some big life changing things from each other. But for such a young girl, hers seemed dangerous and harmful. I could read people like that, and whatever it was I would just have to dig a bit deeper to find.

"Dean! Lunch is ready! Come on Dean, come here boy!" I heard Sam yell, calling for me like I was a dog. Laughter echoed off the tiled walls of the kitchen and rang throughout the house as I walked in. Casey sat next to Kevin, blushing furiously. I grinned and winked at him and he shook his head and shrugged, looking confused.

"So…you're a prophet?" I heard Casey ask.

"Case, have you ever had a boyfriend?" I asked. She looked at me angrily.

"That's none of your business!" I looked at her. "But for the record, yes I have. One," she mumbled quietly.

"Well what happened? With a pretty girl like you no one would break your heart," Kevin said with a wink. Smooth move, I thought. Older boy for Casey. Hm.

"I caught him cheating on me a few days after-" she stopped abruptly.

"After…?"

"After homecoming. It was a great night, but I was looking forward to having my first kiss and I didn't get it. Few days later, he was hooking up with some girl in the middle of the hallway." Something told me she as lying, but I ignored that.

"Hold up. You're fifteen and you've never even had your first kiss?!" I didn't think her face could turn any redder, but it did.

"Dean!" Sam scolded. "Just because you were hooking up with girls at 13 doesn't mean everyone else was."

"Sorry, sorry, I'm just curious. You're nice, funny, pretty-" even redder- "Why no first kiss?!" Sam awkwardly looked down and scratched his head.

"So we found a hunt!" he announced. "Just a few hours away from here, in a place in Idaho. Looks like it may be vampires, but we need to check it out just to be sure." I saw Casey gulp nervously.

"Kevin, you need to stick with the tablet," I said.

"Just as I thought I was getting a break," he grumbled to himself. I shook my head.

"Sorry, kid. It's a rough life." I looked at Casey who was pushing her mac and cheese around the bowl with her spoon. The bowl was only half empty. "Are you feeling alright?" I asked. She looked up.

"Yeah, fine! Just not that hungry." I shrugged.

"Okay." More awkward silences followed that. "So, um, we leave tomorrow morning," I said. "Just pack your bag with a few spare changes of clothes that you may need."

"Right. Got it." No one was willing to make conversation. Casey kept looking up at Kevin and Sam was silently eating his food. I sat there drumming my fingers on the table. If Casey wasn't here, there would probably be conversation, but it wasn't her fault.

"Well…I'll go pack," Casey said.

"Wait! Are you gonna eat your mac and cheese?"

"Um, no! You can have it!" She sprinted upstairs in a rush to get away from us.

"She hasn't been eating much lately," I said casually, trying to hide the worry and concern in my voice.

"It's probably just the shock. She'll be eating in no time," Sam said, but I saw in his eyes he looked concerned too. Casey was hiding a secret from us, and I was determined to find out.

I was hiding in the staircase, listening in on their conversation. They were catching on to me, they saw I wasn't feeling well. I knew I should have been concerned, but being a cancer patient, I was really prone to sicknesses. My immune system hadn't worked the way it should have ever since I was diagnosed, and I had a cold or stomach bug at least once a month, so I figured it wasn't really anything to be worried about. I crawled off to my room and threw a few changes of clothes into my duffel bag. It still smelled like home. I wanted to cry, but it was like I had no tears left. I pulled the bandaids off my arm. Red, bumpy scratches had formed on my arm. What Sam and Dean didn't know was that I had snuck one of the smaller knives in my pocket. I stuck it in a hidden pocket in the duffel bag that I had made when I was younger because I didn't want the people at the airport seeing my stuffed animal. My mom laughed when I told her, she said that they would find it anyways and I got so scared that right before we sent it back, I had to go through my duffel bag to get it out. I carried it through the whole airport. The memory finally brought more tears to my eyes, and I zipped up my bag through blurry vision. Trying to take my mind off of memories, I thought about the hunt. Vampires. I hadn't exactly wrapped my mind around the fact that vampires were real. I rubbed my pounding head, which had suddenly hit me. "I just want to go home," I said quietly. If my family wasn't dead, I would be feeling differently. But they were. I changed into a cute outfit of jeans and a black jacket with my black wedge boots that weren't too tall and easy to walk in.

"You're looking like a real hunter," Kevin remarked when I walked back down. I blushed for the thousandth time.

"Where are Sam and Dean?" I asked.

"Packing the car. Look. I need to talk to you," he said seriously.

"Sure."

"This hunting crap is really serious. I know it may seem easy and fun at first with the guys, but it isn't. I almost got killed before, Case." He was getting rather close to me. "I know you want to, but it isn't the best idea. And it's most certainly not safe." He was now close enough so that he was whispering. "And I don't want you hurt."

Dean chose the wrong moment to burst in.

"Sorry, was I interrupting?" he asked loudly. I shot a look at him, grabbed my bag, and angrily stalked out.

~Dean~

Leave it to me to get the mood swings going. I just had to burst in at the wrong moment, and now we would have to deal with a grumpy teenage girl for three hours. And those would be painful hours. When we said good bye to Kevin, he lightly kissed Casey on her cheek and she smiled happily. Under normal circumstances, I really would not care. I'd probably be happy for Kev. But with Casey, I felt overprotective. I shot a glance at Kevin, who looked confused. "Stay safe," Sam said, not really caring about that. Thinking about it, he probably didn't even notice. We jumped in the car, and just like that we were off. And I was nervous. Me, Dean Winchester, I was nervous. I was never nervous. I was actually over confident most of the time. But Casey was so fragile. She sat in the back seat with headphones in, staring out the window. When she saw me looking at her in the mirror, I made a face, and she gave a small smile. Trying to think of ways to make her laugh, or maybe just annoy her since she was technically a new member of our…family, I decided to blast (I mean blast) my AC/DC.

"Dean!" she yelled over the music, ripping her headphones out.

"Yeah, DEAN!" Sam yelled too. I belted out the lyrics. Sam shook his head while Casey tried but failed at suppressing her smile. Before I knew it, her voice had joined in.

"You know AC/DC?!" I yelled.

"YES! And I also know you're driving on the wrong side of the road!" I looked out the window and saw a large truck, its horn blaring. I swerved the car on the right side, and she was laughing her head off.

"Dean Dean Dean," Sam muttered, as he turned down my music. "You get used to that," Sam said to Casey. "We've almost died on several occasions. I would like to drive, but he's too overprotective of this piece of crap."

"Don't listen to him baby, he doesn't mean it," I said, patting the wheel. Casey stared at me, her mouth slightly open.

"Um. I uh, really don't know how to answer," she said. I grinned and nodded.

"This car is not a worthless piece of junk. It's our dads." She looked at me.

"Sorry I know it's personal but…what happened?" Sam swallowed.

"Demon deal. Dean was…Dean was dying. He sold his soul to save him." She nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"It was long ago. It's done," I said, my hands gripping the wheel. Silence filled the car once more.

The three hour car ride was rather uneventful, other than the beginning. I had my earphones in most of the time, choosing to listen to my alternative rock rather than Dean's classic rock. A lot of the songs were the ones my dad had listened to, but I grew so accustomed to them that I had started to like them, than I loved them. Memories kept filling my mind, like the Pearl Jam concert my dad took me too. Or the hectic Black Friday shopping I did with my mom. And each memory was like another stab in my heart. I wanted the knife so bad, but they couldn't find out. We got to Idaho around 7 pm, it was already dark. The town was rather suburban, and we found a small and gross motel on a highway that led out of town. "This is lovely," I said as we entered the room. My arms were shaking with the weight of my bag, which wasn't even heavy. I dropped it on the floor and sat down on the bed, getting the chills.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked.

"What? I'm fine, just cold. Tired too."

"It's only seven!" Dean exclaimed.

"Dude, no bars," Sam said, reading his mind. He frowned.

"Come on!" he whined. I giggled.

"You guys go ahead, I'll get some rest." Sam looked reluctant to leave me. "I'll be fine," I promised, putting my hand on top of his.

"You're freezing," he said, taking my hand in his.  
"Sam, just go! I need sleep, ok, I'll be fine." Dean placed a gun and a machete looking thing on the table.

"Just in case. I doubt anything will happen. No, nothing will happen, it's just in case," he said. I saw worry in his eyes, so I got up and looked at him, doing something very daring.

"Go," I said, gently kissing his cheek. "I swear, I'm fine." He smoothed my hair back.

"Alright. Sleep tight, kiddo."

As soon as they left, I collapsed in bed, but no sooner than that, I felt something wet on my face. My nose was bleeding.

"No," I whispered to myself. Blood poured down my face, and I stumbled to the bathroom. I grabbed several tissues, or more like the whole box, and held them to my face. Dread filled my stomach. Right before I'd had relapses, which was twice, I had gotten these awful nose bleeds. I refused to think that was happening. It was just a nose bleed. Maybe it was from the cold. Then I realized it wasn't even cold out, I had just gotten the chills. Eventually the nose bleed stopped, and with a dark feeling in my stomach, I pulled the knife out of my bag. "I'm sorry mom and dad," I whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

Half an hour later, and a long and deep scratch up my arm, I was nestled in bed, crying softly. That was how I fell asleep.

~Dean~

We had come home to find Casey soundly sleeping in bed, but tear stains covered her face. But what genuinely frightened me were the bloody tissues in the trash can.

"Sam!" I called.

"What the hell…," he said quietly.

What was she hiding from us?  
The next morning, I woke up around 8, showered, and put on my FBI suit. Sam was out getting us coffee and hopefully breakfast.

"Morning bed head," I teased Casey, when I saw her stretch. She immediately pulled the covers over her head.

"Go away!" I heard her muffled voice.

"Hey, it's a judgment free zone here," I said, laughing.

She rolled out of bed.

"I'm showering."

"Nice to know!" I called after her. Half an hour later, when she was showered and changed and Sam had brought back food, I sat her down.

"Something wrong?" she asked, wide eyes.

"Um, well no. We just need to talk." I saw her shaking hands. "Me and Sam saw those bloody tissues last night."

"Oh that!" she laughed. "Dean, I fell out of bed and hit my face!" Something was telling me that wasn't the honest answer.

"And?"

"And what? I got a god awful bloody nose, I'll tell you that. Used up the whole tissue box." Sam breathed a sigh of relief.  
"Wow, thought something went wrong."

"I'm a clumsy person, what can I say. So question."

"Shoot," I said. I wasn't 100% convinced of her little cover up.

"How the hell do you kill a vampire?" I held up the machete sword thingy that I liked swinging around.  
"Cut the head off. Nice and easy."  
"Easy. Right," she said nervously.

"Look, were gonna start by looking at the bodies. Well, I'll do that, Sam will question the victim's parents. Who do you want to go with?" I asked her.

"You," she said to me quickly. "Questioning is boring." I nodded.

"Very boring. Sorry Sammy, I'll meet you back here in a few hours?"

"Yep. See you soon."

We both got in the Impala. It was a little awkward, with neither of us talking. "So…anything I need to know about you?" I asked her, trying to fill the silence. She grimaced and shook her head.

"My life has been nothing but boring." Well I was hoping she would go along with the conversation, but that didn't really work.

"Um…"

"Dean Winchester," she laughed. "You really don't know how to make conversation with teenage girls, do you?" I smiled and shook my head.

"Sorry to disappoint, Case, but no I really don't. You know, picking up chicks at bars I can do. In fact, that's probably my area of expertise. Works every time. But teenagers I don't do." She laughed and turned up the radio.

"Well, get on it Dean. Who knows how long I'll be with you." Which struck me as a sudden though.

"How long will you be with us, Casey?" I asked seriously.

I would be with them until I died. And for me, that was soon. I had been pushing the thought off for so long until now, and it hit me. I would die. And I would die soon. I looked him in the eyes as we came to a red light. "Until the day comes when death greets us," I said seriously.

"When will that be?" he asked quietly. I swallowed.

"Whenever the time comes." The rest of the car ride we sat in a horrible depressing silence. "Sorry to bring the mood down," I said softly as we pulled into the parking lot. Dean laughed and patted my leg.

"I always love a good conversation about death! Now come on, let's see these bodies."

I followed him inside, and for some reason I felt myself getting really hot. It was only 65 outside, too.

"FBI," Dean said, holding a badge up. "She's with me, no arguments." I bit back a grin as the guy at the desk looked at me, but I kept a straight face.

"We're here to see the three most recent bodies. The victims of the killings."

"Right, follow me," he said seriously. Dean winked at me and we followed the man back.

"Are you alright?" he asked, falling back to walk with me.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked with a grin.

"Well, for one thing, you're sweating rather horribly." He was right. I wiped my forehead with my hand.

"Just hot!"

"Hot and cold flashes…isn't that a sign of menopause?" he joked. I smacked his arm. "Ow! Jesus!" I smiled.

"I'm not fifty, Dean. Go away."

We made it into the room that held the bodies, and three of those drawer things were pulled out, revealing the body. The man held out a box of plastic gloves.

"Of course," Dean said, taking a pair and handing them to me. I wiped more sweat off and pulled them on.

"Call me when you're done," he said. Dean nodded curtly.

"Alright," he instructed once the guy was gone. "Check the neck, tell me what you see." I looked at him and he grinned. "You wanna be a hunter, I wanna see you do something."

"O-ok." I pushed the first woman's blond hair back, and examined the neck. "There are two small holes in the neck…" I made a circle with my thumb and forefinger to indicate how small they were. The same exact marks were on the other two victims.

"Definitely vamps. Man, for once I'm wishing we had a harder case. No research, all we gotta do is find the damn creature and kill it," Dean said, mostly to himself. That was the last thing I remembered.


	4. Chapter 4

~Dean~

"Sam, I don't know! She just fell to the floor and passed out!" I yelled into the phone, driving with an unconscious Casey in the backseat. "Just get back to the room, and quick!" I hung up and threw the phone on the seat next to me. We were just walking out and she dropped to the floor. She was sweating quite a bit earlier, but why?! What was wrong with her? I swerved the car into the motel parking lot and carried her and laid her on the bed. Then I ran to the ice machine with the ice bucket and filled it up. She was just starting to stir when I walked in.

"Dean?" she murmured. I held a wash cloth full of ice to her head.

"Hey, kiddo," I said, pushing her hair back.

"What happened?"

"You tell me."  
"I don't know…I just…everything went black."

"You're burning up. Are you sick?" My hand brushed her right arm and she winced. I rolled up her sleeve to reveal a string of blackish-blue bruises. "What is this?" I breathed.

"It must have been from when I fell," she said, looking confused but worried.

The door burst open and Sam came in.

"Oh Casey," he said, smoothing her hair. "Dean…could you get a water from the vending machine?" he asked me. "Sure thing," I said, and got up. Casey was fine. It was only a little cold, and those bruises were not what I thought they were. She was perfectly fine.

"Casey-" Sam started, but I cut him off.

"Sam! I'm fine I swear, I have a tendency to catch a lot of viruses. I'll be up and about in no time."

"The bruises-"

"I just fell."

"Look, you're staying in from the hunt to night. Don't even try to argue me, Casey, you promised you would stay safe ok? Absolutely no hunt."  
"Sam!"

"Casey, I said no, and that's final!" he yelled right as Dean walked in.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked.

"I told her she couldn't hunt tonight," Sam said.

"Sorry kiddo. Absolute no-no."  
"Dean, just give me a couple of motrin and I'll be fine."  
"Casey Adams, under no circumstance are you going out tonight and that's final. No arguments." I angrily looked away.

"Fine. Whatever." No hunt? No problem. I had other stuff I could do.

Six hours later, after my first fight with Sam and Dean, I had the room to myself, and I had inflicted more cuts around my left arm. I knew it was cancer. The bruises, the sweating, the nose bleed. I was dying, and if I didn't get help soon, there was no way I could make it. It was a relapse, and Sam and Dean didn't know. "I'm so sorry," I said, to everyone. My family. Sam and Dean and Kevin. "I didn't want it to end like this. I love you guys." I wasn't really one for praying, but that's what I found myself doing. And it hit me. It really hit me. "I don't want to die," I got out. "I found something I enjoy, you can't just take it from me now! I want this to be my life!" I yelled, standing up on my weak and shaking legs. I could feel my body collapsing from the inside. "Sam and Dean are my family, and you can't do this! It isn't fair! I- I love them," I finished quietly. "They don't think I'm dying. Sam doesn't know how bad I am. Dean doesn't even know. Neither does Kevin. I thought I had a shot at enjoying something. And now you take it away from me. It just isn't fair." I broke down crying and reached for my cell phone, but Sam and Dean came in, covered in blood. "Casey?" Dean exclaimed. And then I began throwing up blood.

~Dean~

"Casey!" I screamed. She gagged and threw up more blood on me. "Sam!" I yelled. He looked at me, with panic in his eyes. I stood up. "What the hell is going on?" I asked quietly.

"Cancer," he said softly.

"Excuse me?"

"She has cancer. Leukemia."  
"And you choose to tell me this now?!" I yelled.

"Dean, I swore I wouldn't tell you! She was fine!" he yelled back.

I ran my hands in my hair, trying not to panic.

"Hospital. Call-" I couldn't breathe. "Call 911. Now." I picked her up and laid her in bed. Her nose was bleeding now.

"Dean…," she choked out.

"Shh," I said gently.

"Dean…I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't mean to," she cried. I felt a tear on my cheek and I angrily wiped it away as sirens wailed.

"Casey, don't talk. Don't say anything." Blood stained her lips and her mouth, and it made me feel sick to my stomach.

"I should have just told you," she said with a cough. "And now I'm dying."

"No. No you aren't dying, Case." She jerked up and began throwing up again. "Sam!" I yelled.

"They're here, just take her out!" he yelled back. I lifted her up in my arms, so weak and fragile, and ran out to see an ambulance and a man wheeling out a stretcher. I lay her down on it and tried to follow them back in the ambulance, but I was pushed out.

"I'm sorry sir, but you need to drive your own car," a younger looking man said.

"She's my sister, I can't just leave her!"

"Sir, it's the rules." I angrily stomped over to Impala and kicked the side door, then looked up at Sam.

"There something you need to tell me?" I asked him. He swallowed.

"Dean, I promised-"

"Yeah, well I care about her too! Did you ever think about that?!"  
"I know that, Dean! The only reason she didn't want you to know was because she just wanted a normal life! She told me her whole life was just-just sympathetic looks and she was never allowed to do anything and now she has a chance to do that!"

"Sam, she has freakin cancer and you continue to let her hunt. How stupid could you get?"

He looked at me guiltily and got in the car. I followed lead and slammed the door and we sped off.

I didn't know what happened in the ambulance. I just remembered waking up in a hospital bed, my body hurting so badly I couldn't move. I was hooked up to all these machines, and an oxygen mask covered my face. A young nurse was standing in the room next to me.

"Hi sweetie, I'm your nurse, Nora" she said gently.

"Dean," I croaked. "I need D-Dean." She adjusted some bags on the machines full of liquid.

"Casey, we can't let them in just yet, but you can see them soon. I'm sorry. You had a serious relapse." That was the last thing I remembered before passing out.

Next time I woke up, I was throwing up, but there wasn't much in my stomach so I was gagging. That's when I noticed the blood again, but it was coming from my nose.

"Help," I choked out, blood streaming down my face and going into my mouth. Nora came in, saw what was happening, and grabbed a ton of tissues.

"It's ok, you'll be fine," she said softly. She hooked something up to my nose, and the bleeding stopped.

"I'll go get Dean, how does that sound?" she asked. I nodded.

"Thank you." Two minutes later, Dean and Sam walked in, and I felt relief.

"Oh…oh god Casey…," Dean said.

"Sorry you had to see me like this, I didn't have enough time to get ready," I joked. This was what I was like when I was in the hospital. Everyone around me was crying and scared, and I was cracking jokes on my deathbed. He chuckled softly.

"I should have noticed," Sam said to me, crouching by the bed. "This is my fault."

"Sam, Sam, Sam," I said. "It was my fault, don't be stupid. I refused to acknowledge the fact that-"  
"Casey. What are these cuts?" he asked, tracing the ones on my wrist up to the ones making a circle around my arm. Oh no. I had forgotten about those.

"I'm really tired, you guys should probably go," I said weakly.

"Casey…how recent are these?" Dean asked me. I felt myself crying again.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed. "I-I-" I couldn't breathe. Dean pressed his lips against the smaller cuts on my wrist, and he looked like he was trying not to cry.

"Casey…why couldn't you tell us?"

"You should go," I whispered, and turned my head to fall asleep.

~Dean~

Self-harm. How had I not seen that? I was so stupid!

"Dean she's-"

"Don't say it," I said weakly to Sam. "Don't you dare say it. I will keep her alive no matter what it takes. She's too young to die."

"Dean, listen to me. We're both upset and we both know what's gonna happen. We need to be ready to let go."

"NO!" I yelled, several people looking at me. I raised my hands. "No. I-I'm getting coffee."

I stomped down to the cafeteria, which was mostly empty aside from a young girl connected to a machine and her mother. I got a coffee at the free coffee machine and sat down. I had already lost Bobby and dad at hospitals, I wasn't looking for another death.

"Cas, I pray to you to get your feathery ass down here so you can help me out," I said quietly, my eyes closed.

"Hello, Dean," I heard his deep voice say. I looked up to see him sitting in the chair across from me.

"Cas, I need your help," I said shakily.

"I know that you want me to cure Casey, but I can't. The angels don't have experience in curing human diseases, and it wouldn't be possible. I'm sorry."

"You can't at least try?" I half-yelled.

"Dean, I'm sorry. I know how you feel about her, but you need to let go. I'll make sure she's safe in Heaven." I stood up.

"Stop talking like that. She isn't dead yet, and she isn't going to die, so shut up and just-just go back to where you came from." Just like that, he zapped out. Casey would live no matter what it took from me.


	5. Chapter 5

In three days, I had grown sicker then I ever was before. I could barely make out sentences, and at most points in the day I was delirious because my fever was so high. My hair was falling out again, but it wasn't like that mattered to me anymore. Dean or Sam was constantly by my side, but there were some days I could barely remember them. It was funny. It had been two weeks since my parents died, and two weeks of living with Sam and Dean, and I was so close to them. I loved them like they were my older brothers. They made it so easy to get along with them, whether it was through the touching moments or the funny ones. Dean walked in that afternoon with a bouquet of flowers.

"They had to spray them with this stuff in case they carried disease, but I thought you would like them," he said quietly, placing them on the table next to my bed.

"They're beautiful," I whispered.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, holding my hand.

"Well, they have me doped up on pain meds and fever reducer crap so I have this really warm and fuzzy feeling but I also feel like I'm high." He laughed again, but when I coughed he stopped. "Dean. I need you to-to understand that I'm dying right now. Stop shaking your head like that. I am dying, and I'm not coming back." Sam walked in. "Perfect timing," I said with a weak smile through the oxygen mask.

"For what?"

"I just wanted to tell you guys…" The nurse inserted a needle into my arm and a sleepy sensation hit me. "That I love you." I saw a tear slide down Dean's cheek and Sam squeezed his eyes shut.

"Casey please don't die." I smiled.

"Everyone dies, Dean. It's my time."

"I love you too, Case," he said to me, with another tear. "I do." The edges of my vision blurred, then everything else did, and I fell asleep.

~Dean~

Casey Adams died on September 13, at 9:43 am. She went peacefully, I was happy about that. But she was dead. Casey was dead. I held her hand in mine before they took her body, crying for the first time in a while. Sam was too. She was so young and sweet and innocent, with a full life ahead of her. Kevin cried when I told him over the phone, and it sort of broke my heart. "I don't want her to go," I said quietly to myself, but Sam heard.

"I don't want her to either. I just wish I had taken her before hand. I was so stupid, it was all my fault," he said angrily. I traced the cuts on her wrists.

"You wouldn't have known. It wasn't anyone's fault. She was a young and scared girl. I just wish she had told me."  
"I don't think you'd treat her the same," Sam said quietly, avoiding my eye contact with a hand on her almost hairless head. He was right. If I had known she had cancer, I would never allow her to hunt. She would be in the bunker with Kevin.

"I know. But I would still care. It just isn't fair, Sam. We can't give her a hunter's funeral. She deserves to be buried." Sam nodded.  
"Ok. I agree."

As her body wheeled was wheeled away, I closed my eyes, a tear sliding down my cheek. There may have been a long list of dead people in our lives, but Casey would never be forgotten. She was there forever.

Two weeks later, me, Sam and Kevin were standing in front of Casey's white, marble gravestone. I laid down a bunch of purple flowers I had picked out.

"She was so young," Kevin said quietly. "I could have gotten to know her better. Why did she have to have cancer?"

"I bet everyone who has cancer asks that question," I said bitterly. "She was just another one of those patients that died."

"Don't say that," Sam snapped. "Don't even think that. She may have been a cancer patient, but she was one of the most special girls. Our lives will never be the same after this, Dean. We all loved her." I shook my head.

"She deserved better!" I yelled, than started to cry. I never cried. I was generally a strong person, and here I was, crying over the death of a small fifteen year old. Sam wiped away a tear.

"I'll come back," I promised Casey. "I promise. We love you forever and always."

And it was true. We would always love Casey, our adopted little sister. I took a deep breath, turned around, and walked away from the gravestone.


End file.
